Finding who I am.

So, I’ll be frank. I’m going through a lot in life right now. I’m not one to post it all over the internet, but it’s be hard. Nothing by any means life threatening or health related, I am fine in that aspect. It’s more relationship related. I’ve been in a relationship for nearly 6 years – we’ve been engaged for almost two. About a month ago, we called off the wedding for now – it was supposed to be this fall.

Since then, life has been different for me. We’re still together, and still care about each other, but just need to find ourselves. I’m pretty young, and we started dating when I was only 20. We have a lot together, not just things but a life we’ve made together.

I’m trying to find out who I am, as just a person by myself. How do I define myself? What do I really love to do? If its just me, what am I? Who am? A lot of philosophical stuff going on it seems. It’s led me down some different roads, like trying to keep this blog back up, as a place to express myself.

I won’t talk about this a lot here, it’s a hard subject for me and usually makes my eyes tear up. It’s just sad. It makes me sad that all the planning and work I had been doing for what would have been my dream wedding to be worthless, that it was a waste it feels like. It doesn’t mean it won’t happen for me again, but as of now that dream is over.

That is why my mom and I are headed to Hawaii, it was meant to be a honeymoon, but, well, it was paid for, so why not still go on a great trip with your mom?

So, today, I worked. I came home and worked on moving my office for my business to a new room in the house. My business is an important part of my life, and I do enjoy it. In case you didn’t know, I own a business on top of working a full time job. I never thought the business would turn out how it did, crazy how those things happen!

Well, that’s all the crying I can do for this evening. (ha ha. I’m okay people.)

 

Goodnight, and thank you for reading.

2 thoughts on “Finding who I am.

  1. Hey there ! You know what even I’m going through a phase which sounds similar minus the relationship part. But I’m loving this phase in a way as im trying to express my thoughts in every form that’s possible to me and I never knew that I could ever do that ! It’s always good to be on the positive side.

    Liked by 1 person

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